The woman as a potential throw-away object in Islam, reply to a questioner on Islam QA

183616: He divorced her via text message several times, and when she was menstruating, and when he was angry


I am from American and I have a question about my marriage.
I got married three years ago, very ignorant about “talaq” and how many times your supposed to say it and when you are suppose to say it. Somebody told me that I am suppose to say it three times in order to get divorced with someone and in my mind I thought you were suppose to say it three times in one sitting in order to divorce your spouse.
The first time I said it was with text message and this was when my wife was in India and I cant exactly remember why I text her and I text her twice, talaq. I also cannot remember if I intended divorce or not towards her. Her brother asked a Hafiz and he said the text message is invalid it does not count.
I also said it two differnet times and both times I was angry to the point where I really had a hard time controlling my behavior. The first time I said it two times and the second time I said it three times.
I also read online about menstruation and that talaq is invalid during menstruation.
Another thing I would like to state is that me and my wife always had sexual relations between each menstrual cycle and I also saw a video online posted by a scholar that a man cannot have sexual intercourse with his wife and divorce her when he wakes up because he still has feelings for her.
In addition, I also have doubts about the implicit divorces and what exactly what my intention was when I said it.
My wife saying were still married because she did not hear me tell her talaq when I was angry and that we need witnesses.
Recently, I came across Hanifa fiqh of divorce online and one scholar said if you say it 3 times, you guys are divorced but I was reading fatwa at the same time from your website and it said otherwise.
Can you please clear up my doubts and confusion.

Praise be to Allaah.Firstly:

Divorce issued in writing or via e-mail or text message counts as such so long as the intention to divorce is present or it is accompanied by signs that point to intention to divorce.

But if that is written in order to show his handwriting or with the intention to make his wife worry, but without the intention to divorce her, then it does not count as such.

But if you are uncertain about your intention when you wrote the message, or you forgot what your intention was, the divorce does count as such.

See the answer to question no. 72291

In order for divorce to be valid, it is not stipulated that the wife should hear it or that witnesses should be present.

Secondly:

Divorce during the wife’s menses or during a period of purity in which a man has had intercourse with his wife, does not count as such according to the more correct opinion. See the answer to question no. 72417 

Thirdly:

Divorce issued in a state of extreme anger does not count as such. See the answer to question no. 96194

The threefold divorce counts as one divorce, according to the more correct opinion, whether one says: “You are divorced, you are divorced, you are divorced”, or he says: “You are thrice divorced” or “You are three-times divorced.”

If a man divorces his wife and she begins the ‘iddah, then he divorces her again before taking her back, the second divorce does not count according to the more correct opinion, because divorce can only be valid after doing the marriage contract or after taking the wife back.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The more correct view concerning this entire issue is that there is no threefold divorce at all, unless he issues a divorce then takes her back, or makes a new marriage contract  otherwise the threefold divorce does not count as such. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him), and it is the correct view. End quote from ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 13/94

Based on the above, you can work out the number of divorces that you issued.

Husbands have to fear Allah, may He be exalted, and not take the verses of Allah in jest, or toy with divorce and use it for purposes other than those for which it was ordained.

And Allah knows best.

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3 Responses to The woman as a potential throw-away object in Islam, reply to a questioner on Islam QA

  1. θ says:

    The Talaq is rather a procedure, not just utterance. No matter how many one husband says “I divorce thee”, even 100 times, the divorcement doesn’t take place before he gives all dowry completely to his wife. In some Arab countries the Talaq can bankrupt husband shortly because the wife has to be given the dowry she was promised previously in forms of the capital properties such as house, lot of land, shop, farm, ranch, shares of stock, and any viable business that is put in her name and can be run and owned entirely by her if she so chooses.
    Dowry in Islam is designed to be couple marriage’s insurance internally, it plays the function as prevention as well as punishment for husband’s finance.
    There’s strong indication that one husband may be going to divorce wife anytime soon if she is married with amount of dowry that is not regarded harmful for the financial security of her husband.

  2. θ says:

    Triple Talaq is a violation of Sunnah, even a Nushuz (bad treatment). Islamic marriage institutes one body which other religions don’t have, i.e. marital arbiters, who have act on behalf of the couples.
    A bad husband can be disciplined by his wives thru her arbiters. So, any wife is not alone in Islamic marriage. At any case or issue of disloyalty or mistreatment or marital fight, she has an absolute right to anytime summon her “defender”, i.e. arbiter. Usually, they are her Mahram. The husband has no rights to prevent this wife’s decision, nor does she need to ask her hubby’s permission.
    Certain clerics intentionally hide this arbiter thing because of the freedom to own the wives absolutely without any checker.
    Worse any woman also doesn’t care about her own basic rights of having her defender.

  3. Anonymous says:

    That looks like a concept of consigliere in Italy and Switzerland.

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